We sit in ice-cold chairs, thighs sticking to the metal with dried sweat. Lights shining blindingly into our eyes from above. The room is small, four out of the five chairs filled with our bodies. We had been ushered into the room upon arrival, we didn’t say anything to each other, just sat in the chairs and waited.
An officer finally trotted into the room, taking a seat behind the table, slapping a notepad down. We weren’t afforded the luxury of a table in front of us so I sat with my legs out, arms crossed at my chest.
“State your names for the record,” demanded the officer sitting on the other side of the table, pen posed, ready to write, his gruff voice bouncing off the walls of the room. The officer was not a small man, too many donuts on the night shift made his gut stick out and his belt dig in at all the wrong places.
“Nora Stephens.” My eyes clash with Nora’s, her leg bouncing violenting against the floor, eyes filled with fear. She shouldn’t be here, she didn’t want to be there in the first place. I had coerced her, the need to rectify this wrong so great that I had not fully thought out the consequences for those around me. I was not going to let my mother be remembered the way this town had painted her. She would have done the same for me, fighting tooth and nail until she got the outcome she wanted.
Kai sighed before giving his name, “Kai Anderson.”
“Ivens Anderson.” Ivens followed, leaving me for last. Both guys seemed so relaxed, shoulders slumped and hands resting on their thighs. It was scary how similar they could look, despite being three years apart, yet it was obvious who the older one was. Kai’s mannerisms were more composed and perfected, while Ivens still had the boyish air about him, his voice rough as if he hadn’t had the time to work out the kinks despite being years past puberty.
I cleared my throat, willing my voice not to tremble and my hands to stop shaking, “Octavia Florence.” I wanted to look stronger than I felt but my body was not compliant.
The officer held my eyes for a long second before reverting back to the paperwork in front of him. He read off our rights, giving us all the legal nonsense. The long night was shown through the bags under his eyes as the clock struck four in the morning. None of us wanted to be here, that was for damn sure, but we were reaping the consequences of our actions. Actions that seem like nothing compared to what some of the Daniels kids have done, but being the children of the town's Sheriff allows you to get away with a lot of things. Daniels was too busy chasing us down to notice anything his own kids were doing.
They hadn’t split us up upon arrival, which was surprising. Weren’t cops known for using us against each other rather than allowing us to scare each other into submission? But if it wasn't on the agenda, this would make it easier for me to take the fall, rather than all of us getting into shit.
I won’t lie, it had crossed my mind that we might get caught. It was not a foolproof plan, it had holes and flaws. But it seemed to be the only thing to get the attention of the police force again.My mothers story was something that no one wanted to hear, yet it was something so horrific that needed to be acknowledged. Our small town has a one-track mind, too much flying under the radar of these stuck-up officers. The same officers that allowed my mother to be killed.
I remember the first letter she got in the mail. The envelope was blank of an address. Just her name, glued on the front, each letter different, as if cut from a magazine. The only thing inside was a piece of paper with the words, ‘we will be together one day.’ It hadn’t scared her, she simply thought it was a joke sent by some teenagers that lived in the neighboring houses. But it continued day after day. Each day a new letter with messages, always short and to the point. It was clear she was being watched, sometimes a photo would be included, and it truly started to scare her then. She was nervous and jittery, jumping when I entered a room, looking over her shoulder, never going anywhere without pepper spray or a taser.
She had gone to the police twice at that point, and neither time had anything been done. Officers said it was just a silly prank from some of her students at the high school. We never believed it, no teenage kid goes as far as following their teacher home for a prank, let alone for this long.
Weeks passed, she stopped reading the letters, throwing them away as soon as she entered the house, at least that's what she told me. I would later find stacks of those notes in her room, leading all the way back to that first one.
I tried to help her anyway that I could but I was entering my second year of college along with having a part time job, so I wasn’t home as much as I would have liked. I now regret not being there more, maybe I could have stopped it or maybe I would have made it worse, but I know better than to drag myself down that rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’ again.
Things escalated after that. They started leaving ‘gifts,’ if you could call them that, with the letters. At first it was a singular rose, then two, then three. Each day more and more roses would appear on the doorstep or the hood of her car.
Mom lived paycheck to paycheck, being a highschool teacher didn’t pay that well and it didn’t help that she was trying to help me in college wherever she could, so it was three months before she could afford security cameras. Three months of roses and letters, three months of going to the police and not being taken seriously by the people that were supposed to be protecting her.
Once the cameras were up, it stopped. There was not one letter or rose after that. We thought it had ended, the ‘prank’ was finally over. But after one week of silence, I walked into my childhood home to find my mother dead in her own bathtub.
Her wrist had been slit multiple times, along with cuts on her stomach and inner thighs. The image of a body soaking in red stained water haunted me every time I closed my eyes. No amount of therapy has been able to pry that image out of my head. I spent two years in therapy spending hours talking about what happened and my feelings and all it did was make me relive my worst nightmare over and over again. So I stopped going and had the first opportunity to wallow in my own grief, eventually leading to this .
“Octavia?” I shook my head to clear my thoughts, not realizing there had been a question asked by the officer.
“I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?” He huffed at my request but repeated it anyway.
“Would you like to be the one to tell me why y’all were at Sheriff Daniels’ place at two in the mornin’?” All eyes are on me at this,but my gaze never falters from the officer . The name tag on his uniform reads “J. White’. He looked to be a middle-aged man, with tan skin, and a southern twang, probably had kids and a wife at home who he’d rather be with but he’s here, with us.
We had just made it out of the side door before we heard the sirens blaring. The guard on duty had been asleep, making it easy for Kai to disable the camera system.
I tried hard to figure out what went wrong but the night played out perfectly in my head, perfect until we got caught.
Earlier that night
It was dark out, the small town was less polluted than the more urban neighboring cities, the stars still visible in the night sky. Staring up, I swore one winked at me. ‘Hi, Momma.’ I thought, a small smile slipping across my face. I knew she wouldn’t want me to do this but he deserved it, not as much as the horrid piece of a human that actually killed her, but he hadn't done anything to help her either. I just hoped she forgives me.
Kai and Nora sat in the car I leaned against, I couldn’t hear what they were saying but if I had to guess Kai was trying to talk Nora down from a panic attack. She still wasn’t too keen on this idea, weeks and weeks of planning and she was still nervous about getting caught. It was a valid worry; stalking and destruction of property of the Sheriff's house was not something that the police were going to take lightly.
We had already started our torture on Daniels last week. Each day an envelope was mailed to his house, enclosed was rose petals and a note that had been sent originally to my mother from her stalker. Notes that had shown him, evidence of the crimes that had been committed against her.
I hadn’t done it alone, Ivens had jumped at the chance to help, stating that she was just as much his mother. He leaned beside me now, quiet, listening to the sound of cars from the distant highway and bugs buzzing around our heads. He always seems so calm and composed, but the night I called him breaking the news about my mom, he broke too. He held me as I sobbed and screamed, his tears silently streaming down his cheeks. When he thought I was asleep he stepped outside and I could hear him let out a brutal yell then break down into a sob. I fought the urge to get up and console him. He clearly didn’t want to be seen like that so I stayed in my room, praying for sleep to come.
“You okay?” My voice sounds hoarse, having not used it in a while. I sat in the backseat of the car quietly just listening to them talk on the ride here, just thinking, getting lost in my head.
He turns, a small smile peeking down at me, “Yea, Via, I’m good. Just enjoying the night sky before we possibly get sent to jail for the rest of our lives and I never see it again.”
“Don’t say that! No one needs your bad juju.” I slap his arm, rethinking for the hundredth time if this was actually a good idea.
“Calm down. I'm joking, I promise.” He chuckles, pulling me to his chest, arms wrapped around my waist. He was a good six or seven inches taller than my five-foot-five statue, but that never stopped him from holding my gaze. I don’t know how his neck didn’t cramp while constantly looking down at me and Nora.
“Are you second guessing this? Because I am,” I mumble into his chest, fear clouding my mind again.
“Look at me,” I try to step back just a little, only to feel his hands slide up my arms, cupping my face. His expression scares me for a second, the emotions curdling there. “While Momma Florence wouldn’t want you avenging her death,” he smiles at the thought of her– the mention of the nickname she hated because of her last name– “never second guess what you think is right. This fucker stood by while she suffered. He left her scared and alone because he thought she was overreacting. That piece of shit deserves what is coming to him.” His eyes stare so intensely into mine I can’t help but believe the words he says. I don’t say anything, just hug him tightly, bury my face into his chest and try my hardest not to cry again, before breaking away.
Kai and Nora finally get out of the car, Kai hauling a duffle bag of spray paint and tools over his shoulder.
“Ready?” Kai is bouncing on his heels. This man always has too much energy, especially when we are about to do something illegal.
The time on my phone reads 1 AM, “Yeah, the guard should be asleep. He usually takes a nap around now.” We set off down the street, the car was hidden the best it could behind a mess of trees and bushes that line the street connecting to Daniels house.
Daniels was away for the weekend, taking his family to their lake house about an hour away, leaving his house completely empty except for the one security guard in his little office at the gate. There was no variation in guards, the same one had worked the night shift the past two weeks, so learning his schedule was easy. He got there at eight, walked the perimeter at ten, then back to his office, walking again at midnight, napping afterwards usually until three. That gives us about two hours to get in and get out before he wakes up.
There were cameras around the entire property, but they all led back to the security office. Kai was the one that needed to handle that. He was older than the rest of us so he had already finished his degree in computer science, coming in very handy to plant a bug in the computer that would glitch out the cameras for a couple of hours. I don’t think this is what his professors thought he was going to be using his degree for but it helped us so I wasn’t going to complain.
As expected the guard was asleep as we arrived. Kai slipped in, doing his computer geek stuff, the computer monitors glitching out to static. He walks back out, a smirk on his lips.
“Don’t get cocky.” Nora whispered. He just winked at her, the flush of her cheeks could be seen even in the dark. She's had a crush on him for a couple of years, but she never did anything about it. He had been out of her reach as a teenager, he was older, going off to college, chewing girls up and spitting them out, typical guy entering his twenties. She never fed those fantasies, never wishing for those things she knew she would have, she was simply perfect Nora. But those feelings had carved out their own corner in her heart, sitting there until called on.
We took off in a jog to the side entrance of the house. Luckily there wasn't an alarm system in place that we had to worry about, allowing Ivens to make quick work of the lock, I never asked why he knew how to do that, nor do I need to know.
The house was quiet, the only noise coming from our footsteps. We hadn’t been in the house before but it wasn’t hard to find the master bed and bath. The bathroom was huge, a walk-in shower with a separate bathtub, his and hers sinks, and a walk-in closet.
The four of us got to work quickly and quietly. Passing cans back and forth. Nora worked on the bed, scattering roses and copies of the letters that my mom had gotten. I hadn’t realized she kept everything after those first couple of letters until I was packing up her bedroom, getting ready to sell the house. She has lied about throwing them away and I couldn’t begin to think about why. It just didn’t make sense to make a point in telling me she threw them away only to store them, hidden away from the world. I broke down so many times that day just thinking about the fears she must have faced and not told me about.
As the guys finished with the final details, Nora and I stood back, admiring the work that we had created. Wicked grins bloomed on each of our faces as we turned toward one another.
We packed everything up and made our way back through the house. I lagged behind, taking in Daniels gorgeous house, as much as I hate to admit it. I grew up in a small run down two bedroom house. It was all that we needed, it was just me and my mom, my dad was never really in the picture. He and mom were never married so he sent his child support and lived his life. It didn’t bother me that he wasn’t around, mom was enough for me, she had made that house into our home. I didn’t care how our living room looked or how small the kitchen was. All I cared about was my room, and mom helped me decorate it however I wanted. I had purple walls with daisies that mom had spent so much time painting, I was obsessed with it. I had a space to call my own and that was enough, but to stand here in this house, I wonder what mom had really wanted. Was she happy with our little house or did she yearn for this life? The life where she had rooms she didn’t know what to do with, and a kitchen so big that she could do all the baking she wanted. I wanted to believe she was happy because I was happy but I could hear the nights she cried herself to sleep after she put me to bed echoing in my ears. I saw the stress in her eyes each day.
“Come on Via, we have to go.” Nora came back for me, gently taking my hand in hers. Somehow she always understood where my mind was and pulled me out before I was too far gone. We hadn’t enough time to get lost in the what haves, we had to get out before the guard woke up. If he woke up our whole plan was fucked. It wasn't like they wouldn't know it was me, it was my mother for hell's sake. But they would have no proof that I had been here. I didn’t live in this town anymore, I had only driven in a couple hours before this, meeting Ivens and Kai at their childhood home, taking as much care as I could that no one saw me in this town and I would be back in my bed before anyone found out what we had done.
The guys waited at the side door for us to catch up before continuing. They had barely made it out the door before they froze, bodies ridged from head to toe. I couldn’t see around them, I couldn’t hear anything as I stood there confused. I tried to peer around Ivens, but his hands came behind him, pushing me away from his back. That’s when the sirens started, letting anyone in a half a mile radius know something was going on.
“Octavia. Nora. Run.” My breath caught in my throat. Nora had turned white as a sheet next to me, body frozen in fear. The house sat so far back from the street so much that it was backed by the woods. If I could at least get Nora to the woods they would not be able to find her in time to know she was a part of this.
Tightening my hand on hers I pulled her after me, running as fast as my legs would allow me to the back door I had seen in search of Daniels’ room. I didn’t think, just unlocked the door and ran out, still pulling Nora. But I didn’t get far, police had been at this entrance too. I hadn’t taken the time to check the door before opening it in my panic. I had just screwed Nora over.
After a long pull of silence, Officer White hummed in response.
Something about that sound ticked me off, “It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” Ivens started beside me, trying hard to catch my eye. That’s definitely not something that I should be saying to the man that might be the deciding factor whether or not I go to jail. The vandalism wasn’t enough to send us but the breaking and entering could give us some time.
White ignored my outburst, eyes roaming over to Nora. Fuck. Nora had not wanted to be a part of this, scared of this exact outcome. She was a model citizen, the good girl of all good girls. She took classes at the community college in the next town, until she could save enough to go to a university. She was going to hate me after this. Her chances of getting into those schools are shit if she has a criminal record.
“Nora? You want to talk?” He stood from the little table he sat at, rounding it to lean against the front, legs crossed in front of him. “The more you talk the more likely you are to get out of this. I know this wasn’t your idea Nora. Girls like you don’t do stuff like this.” I don’t say anything, even though my thoughts are dying to seep out into the cold room. Nora can fight her own battles, she doesn’t need me or Kai to do that for her. She’d shown us that once before, and I knew not to make that mistake again.
“Girls like me?” She chuckles, humorlessly, all fear blinking out of her eyes at that comment, “Okay, yeah, girls like me don’t do this. But that doesn’t mean I can’t.” Her response shocked me slightly. While I had spent an entire night trying to convince her to help us, making assumptions about Nora pissed her off no matter if they were right or wrong. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to rope her into this with us, but something felt wrong about not including her. She was the rational one, always cleaning up my messes, making sure no one tried to murder me in my sleep after I blew my fuse at someone that day. She wasn’t against what we were doing, she was just trying to protect herself, and I can’t blame her for that.
White looked taken back for a second before regaining his composure, “So this was your idea then?”
I’d had enough of the ignorance act, “Oh. My. God.” I let the words drag out, showing my exasperation. “It’s pretty clear whose idea this was. It wasn’t their mom who was murdered at the hands of her stalker. It was mine. My idea, my mother.” My voice had cracked on the last word but I refuse to let any emotion other than rage show right now.
“Your mother wasn’t killed, Octavia. It was ruled a suicide.” My head whipped to the left, the door was open, a bulky man leaning against the door frame. My anger simmered underneath my skin, begging to be let out. The fucking audacity this man has.
“Suicide!” I screamed at Sheriff Daniels, “You call that a suicide? Being stalked for three months, getting threatening letters daily, only to be ignored by the police and end up dead.” I had sat up in my chair, back ridged, breathing labored as I tried my damned hardest not to let the tears fall. “That was no fucking suicide and you know it. You just refuse to acknowledge it.”
Daniels strode into the room now, glancing at guys sitting between Nora and me. They hadn’t uttered a word since stating their names, their postures relaxed and calm. But as Daniels came closer, the brothers became alert, sitting up straighter in the chairs, eyes tracking his every movement.
I continued before he could say anything else, “She sat here in this every room and sobbed her heart out, scared to death of this person. She came countless times giving her statement on the situation, she called, she complained, yet nothing happened. She sat in her own house terrified and was killed because of the pieces of shit that work here.”
“She killed herself honey. All evidence points to self harm. You know how your momma wa-” Daniels started but I was not hearing this story again.
“Is.” The word was our of mouth before I could stop it. I knew logically he was right but to hear him talk about her like that hurt like hell. “Don’t honey me. I don’t need nor want your pity. I heard you the first time, I don’t need it repeated. She would have never taken her life, would have never left me without a mother.” The tears spilled down my cheeks now, unable to stop them.
Daniels' eyes became hard, Officer White had retreated out of the room, getting the hint that he was no longer needed. “I’ll repeat myself as many times as I’d like, until you understand the reality of this situation.”
Ivens shot out of his seat. He was slightly taller than Daniels but Daniels didn’t back down, only staring stright into his face. “Don’t you ever speak to her like that again. You have no right to talk to anyone like that, let alone a woman who lost her mother.” The hand that wasn’t being jabbed into Daniels’ chest was balled into a fist. Kai noticed a second after I did and started pulling his brother back.
Daniels hadn’t moved an inch, face impassive, “White!” He yelled, eyes still on Ivens.
Officer White came running into the room. “Yes, sir?”
“Take him to a holding cell.” Kai, Nora, and I screamed our discontent, yet Ivens didn’t say a word, only smirking at Daniels until he was dragged out of the room.
“What the fuck?” Kai said, voicing what we were all thinking.
“He assaulted a Sheriff, that's a criminal offense and on top of everything else, its not looking good for him.” With every word that came out of his mouth, my fuse got shorter and shorter. His smirk only got larger.
Somewhere along the commotion I had risen from my seat, I sat back down with a defeated huff. I honestly didn’t know what to do now. Everything had gone wrong.
“What now? Are you gonna throw the rest of us in a holding cell too?” My voice had lost all of its bite, falling flat.
Daniels didn’t say anything for a while, eyes staring off to the side. Then he asked Kai to stop his restless pacing and sit down. This man was hot and cold, voice going from hard to soft in a second. It made me uneasy, his personality shifting to meet the mood of the room. But I guess that came with the job title. In that moment I decided that I would drop it all, I would try to make a deal with Daniels. Nothing was worth letting my friends sit in a cell, especially not Ivens, the man who catered to anything that we needed no matter the reason.
Daniels started talking as soon as I opened my mouth, “No.” I sat there confused for a second, it had been a good five minutes since I asked the question so I thought he wasn’t going to answer. “What would make you happy in this moment?” His eyes locked on mine. My mind was blank and yet overflowing with words that weren’t an answer to his question.
Happy? I don’t think I’ve been happy since my mom died. How could I? I had lost the person that raised me, loved me so unconditionally it hurt.
Taking a deep breath I said, “I don’t need to be happy. I need to know what really happened that night.” My hands ached with how tightly I had balled them, Kai must have noticed because he took my left hand in his, unraveling it, lacing my fingers with his, giving me the strength that I so desperately needed.
“What do you want me to do, Octavia? We investigated. The autopsy said the cause of death was the abrasions made to the body. Your mother had a history of depression, the conclusion was easy to come to. She only ever got letters and rose petals, her house was never broken into, never confronted, we have no reason to believe that that person had anything to do with it,” He paused, taking a deep breath. I was nervous about what was about to come out of his mouth next, I couldn’t read him, he was constantly changing. “If you have another reason, or piece of evidence that can sufficiently prove foul play was involved, I will reopen the case.”
I sat, fozen in shock, before breaking down into sobs. Kai held me into his side, while Nora came to stand behind me, rubbing my shoulders. He was giving mom another chance.
****
He didn’t move from the interrogation room after they left.
He wasn’t stupid, as soon as he had gotten that first letter he knew who had sent it, it was obvious, they were his letters, the roses were fresh but still his nonetheless. He didn’t think she would go as far as breaking into his house, but then again he should have suspected something, she was a replica of her mother, a woman who wouldn’t go down didn’t a fight.
The letters hadn’t scared him like she probably hoped they would. He had laughed a big belly laugh, ripping that first envelope open, petals spilling on the floor. It was funny to him, to see those words looking back at him again, his neat strokes, lines so precise in red ink. It had been easy the first time she brought in the note to play it off as someone pranking her. She was a highschool teacher, a beautiful one at that.
It was an easy lie. The simplest lies are the easiest to shape to your own desires, easist to control. All he had to do was plant that first little seed in the department officer’s minds. The officers on her case took her seriously at first, but the same complaint one after another, it was easily dismissed after a few words from him, he was the Sheriff after all, had worked diligently for this position. He had worked countless meaningless cases, sat in boring meetings, listened to his superiors effortlessly. He was the perfect depiction of a ‘good cop’.
It had been two years, yet it played in his mind daily, relishing it in. It was easy that day to break into her mothers house. She was always spaced out it seemed, mind on one thing while doing another, so slipping through the unlocked backdoor was quick, quiet. His rage had boiled over walking down the hall to the master bedroom where they had laid so long ago, willingly, lovingly. He hadn’t planned what he was gonna do, maybe just scare her, give her a good fright for the pain she had caused him. But then he saw her, standing in a towel, fresh out of the shower, hair a wet mess down her back, staring into the mirror applying something to her face. Something inside him snapped in that moment. Emotions so grand that they had taken over every fiber of his being.
She saw him but didn’t scream, she jumped a little at a face looking back at her that was not her own, but never made a sound, he was a familiar face afterall. The disgust rolled onto her face at the recognition, and it was over for him. He struck. The switch blade in his pocket made its way into his hand as he held her down. And then she was gone. It was easy for him to make it look like a suicide, he knew what signs he would look for, he knew the story he could play about depression and paranoia. He was the one that would be working her case anyway, anything that he couldn’t cover now, he’d have the chance to later.
He had hoped that she wouldn’t be the one to find her mother but he also knew they had no other family.
Once upon a time he had been her mothers only real family, her secret that she had kept from those around her.
He wished Octavia luck on her journey through her mothers past. All he had to do was sit back and watch her world crumble around her as she found nothing notable, nothing enough to reopen that case. He had spent the past two years making sure of that.
Secrets were ugly little things, yet she was the one secret that had tasted so sweet to him, the one that he would forever keep.
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