Starting College

I did it I survived senior year, graduation, summer, and saying goodbye to the people I love for a while. It's a new chapter, it's exciting but also I am scared shitless. I'm not scared about being alone in a new city or being away from home and yea the new course load is a little nerve-racking but the thing that makes me want to throw up in the morning is not having anyone. I don't know anyone and while I like to be by myself I have to know that I have people I can go do things with or see when I want. I crave closeness with someone, especially a partner. I don't know why I am so obsessed with finding a boyfriend or girlfriend but I am. I realize that I crave to be loved by someone in a way that I have only experienced in books. I also want to have friends here so that I can experience college. I want to at least go to a party and just to say that I have, maybe I will actually have some fun, but I need the right friends. All in all, I just want to actually live, have fun, explore my sexuality, JUST LIVE and love life.